What is the World ComingTo? Part 2

I left my thoughts with parents and responsible adults needing to make sure that values are a part of our lives.  My parents, and most of the adults around me taught by example.  I was not always the perfect student.  "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all", was something I heard from my Grandparents, my parents and many of the adults that I looked up to.
     "The Golden Rule", a timeless teaching in human interaction was something I saw modeled everyday.  I was not always the perfect mimic.  "love thy neighbor as thyself".   The list of wise tidbits of humanity and compassion could go on, but most of us have heard them.  Sometimes, I guess, the trick is when we choose to live them.
     Most of us have probably been bullied at some point in our lives.  I know, from personal experience, that it is not fun.  There were a couple of periods in my childhood, where I experienced the pain and frustration of being bullied.  I don't remember it being long-term, and ongoing, but I recall it growing to a point where my bully moved from verbal "assaults" to one day where he really wanted to fight me.  He was bigger than me, and I was pretty scared, but not inclined to run away.  What 5th grade boy wants to be identified as "chicken"?  Not looking forward to the pain, but gonna stand my ground.......and fight?   It never happened.
     As the bully started pushing me, and I realized how close this was getting to a fistfight (for no reason), a flash of color from behind me ended the situation (kind of).  My friend, Preston, who had seen what was going on, came flying in from the side and body checked my assailant.  As the captain of our school flag-football team, a star on our basketball team, and pretty much an all around athlete, nobody messed with Preston, but pretty much everyone liked him.
     Preston planted one good shot to the bully's nose, and announced that if he wanted to pick on anybody, he, Preston, was always right here, and ready to go.
     Now, the shot to the nose may not have been totally necessary, but I can also say that no one ever had a problem with that bully during the rest of our school years. I was so glad that someone had seen my dilemma, and stepped in to help.  So many victims wish for help, but can't see a way that "asking" doesn't worsen the problem.
     And, sometimes, victims reverse roles.  It wasn't right at the same time, but a bit later, that I became the bully.  I was not alone, but that doesn't excuse my involvement.  Our church congregation had changed, and there were some boys my age that had been in other congregations.  They went to different schools, and some of my friends went to school with them, and thought they were really cool.  They were not always friendly to those of us that didn't go to their school.  So I tried to fit in other ways.
     We had one boy at church that was in the school's equivalent of special ed.  He was friendly, but kind of socially ............ trying to find a kind way to put it.  Socially "less comfortable than the average teenager."  His family had many struggles financially, and so he didn't fit in with our new group dynamic.
     We were not nice to him.  I was not nice to him.  I wanted to fit in, and for awhile I ignored what my parents had tried so hard to teach me.  I played along with the derisive comments, the snubbing, the laughter at his expense, all the while seeing that it hurt his feelings.  But I didn't stop, and I didn't step up.
     I am ashamed to say that I never stepped up on his behalf.  But I learned a hard and valuable lesson.  One day, at a Scouting event (of all the places for such an ironic occurrence), we (the group) had gone under the bleachers to sit in the shade while we ate.  This young man (I DO remember his name, but will simply call him Joe, since some of my readers may know him)came under the bleachers to sit with us.  We told him no, that nobody wanted to sit with him.  The things we said got more hurtful, and then we took a more aggressive posture, standing up and "shunting" him away from our spot.  Joe was obviously hurt by our behavior, but we continued to taunt him.  I don't remember every single word, or even if one of us started to push Joe physically, but I do remember Joe reaching his breaking point.  He was crying, and lashed out and hit one of the boys in the face, and then ran away.  I don't actually remember if he hit me, but in my memory, I felt bad enough that he may as well have hit me.  I really felt like I deserved it.
     I don't remember seeing Joe at church the next day, and before the week was out, Dad informed me that Joe's family had needed to move, because his dad had finally found a part-time job in another community. I knew they were poor, but I hadn't been aware that the family was truly struggling to eat. Considering our lunchtime behavior at the Scout event,  I felt so guilty for weeks, that I could hardly even look at my "friends".  I felt sick over the way we had treated "Joe", and I often wished that I could apologize to his face.  I have no idea where he is today, but I often think back on what that time taught me, and hope that I get a chance some day to apologize in person.
     I learned, for me, that "social power" derived from belittling others is hollow and distasteful.  I fear that society's portrayal is one that promotes the "power" and tries to fill it with a false concept of "winning".
     I remembered that this was not how I wanted to feel, because I knew how it felt, and I should never be involved in making others feel that way. I got reminded of the Golden Rule.
     I learned that some actions are regrettable.  I would not look back and say I can identify many real regrets in my life, but that one day under the bleachers is definitely on the list.  I knew I should stand up and tell the others to quit.  I KNEW how much words can hurt, and I STILL joined in the taunting.  I KNEW that this was not how a Christian young man, or a dedicated Boy Scout should behave toward others, and I DID NOTHING!!  And I regret not immediately calling, visiting, seeking Joe out to apologize.  I pray constantly that his parents and other true friends were able to keep him involved in church, where his church group (the ones that should have been his strength and support) were driving him away.  I decided then, that I would never allow someone to be bullied in my presence without stepping in, even if only to offer the victim a friend, and the bully a new (and more difficult) target.
     I read reports that some of these bullies feel no remorse.  In one case, the local sheriff didn't decide to press charges against the bullies until he read a facebook post that the girl was glad that "so and so had 'offed herself'  and she didn't give a ......".     I pray that bullies feel remorse, almost as much as I pray that the "Scotts" of the world realize that we need to stand up.  Be a friend to the bullied, stand against bullying.  Show compassion for those around us, by imagining how we would feel, and what it would mean to have someone step to our defense.  It doesn't always take a "Preston tackle", but it may be the difference between life and death for a victim on the edge.  Life is a fragile thing, and facing it together makes it easier and more enjoyable.
     WE ARE THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION: What is the world coming to?  Where are we going to take it?  What are we going to make out of it, by our example more than our words?  What is this world coming to?  We have to decide!

What is the world coming to?

Rebecca Ann Sedwick
Ciara Pugsley
Hannah Smith
Daniel Perry
Joshua Unsworth
Anthony Stubbs
Erin AND Shannon Gallagher (sisters)
Jessica Laney

9 well publicized teen suicides in the last year, linked specifically to cyberbullying.  Out of over 4000 in an average year, these are probably a small portion of the suicides related to bullying, but still a tragic and significant sample of society. Bullies and Bystanders
     It makes me wonder about where our society is headed.  But the evidence is mounting.  Whether it is bullying, mass shooting, gang violence, domestic abuse, etc., etc. ad nauseum.  There is a growing rift that is troubling, but no surprise to many.
     There are too many factors involved to "lay blame" on any one area, unless you are among the billions who do believe that there are forces of evil in the world.  Among many of the world religions, there are so-called "end of the world" scenarios.  Some are more of a "major changing event" concept, but among most of these, there is a growing effort on the part of "Evil" to gain greater strength leading up to whatever event might be coming.
     Now, for those who may be inclined to scoff at religious believers when it comes to this type of thing, I will make a very simple statement.  In the face of growing tendencies amongst our fellow humans, the concept of some major change that will "reset" the values of society as a whole, offers some hope for the future.  You might even say, it gives me some comfort.
     In the mean time, (was that a pun?........totally unintentional, until now!)  In the "mean" time, we feel an obligation to hold the line.  Who was it that said "Evil triumphs when good men [and women] do nothing"?
     Look around us.  Watch your children, your neighbor's children, your students, all of their parents.  Yes, Moms and Dads, I intend to include us in this.  The growth of digital existence plays a role, I think.  There is a noticeable sense of disconnect between people.  The "old fashioned" values of courtesy,  caring and community are diminishing.  Not only are we seeing the human interactions being replaced by digital everything, we are being drowned in a sea of so called entertainment where the attitude of "ME at all cost" is promoted as desirable.  Reality TV!  I could probably stop, .........but no, not yet!
     Rudeness, Total lack of common courtesy, backstabbing, deceit, intimidation, lack of overall decency!  These get ratings, and are being portrayed as necessary to "WIN".  But at what cost to humanity?  And digital telecommunications mean that many of these behaviors can be perpetrated with a sense of anonymity.
     Kids don't learn how to play with each other.  They spend so much time in front of their "digital umbilical" that they think these reprehensible behaviors are normal and good.   And "Stepping in".........  not seen as important, by many.
     Grandparents! Parents!  This is in your realm.  It should be a "natural given" that kids are learning values of compassion, toughness, courtesy, responsibility from their parents, grandparents, church leaders and other significant adults.  Well, we teachers have been effectively eliminated.  In so many ways and laws and policies, our hands are tied, when it comes to teaching any "values", ESPECIALLY if someone else might consider those values "religious".  Most of us still try, but I could lose my job every period of every day if any of my students ever took offense at my "values".
     This one is getting long, so I may need to follow up tomorrow.

     Coming:    Scott the bullied.....Scott the bully!

Weekends! Wish they were longer......oh, wait!

     Sometimes, I wonder if what I post will even be interesting enough for my own family, much less anyone else, but I made a promise to Liz and Colin that I would post more regularly.  I hope that every once in a while I send out a true gem or two, but I guess it's OK to just post my day-to-day occasionally, right?

     My mind is still spinning around, tumbling so many things from last week's General Conference, the ongoing Government issues, school insurance, school evaluations, TESS, Common Core, sports (yeah, a bit) and weather, that I decided I am just going to "muse" about my weekend, and save some of the deeper thoughts for another day.

     Start with basic run-down of the weekend.  Justin and Ian home for Friday night and Saturday, Ben off at Briar's, celebrating his 17th birthday.  Pizza and icecream for supper.  Healthfood, I know, but we all love pizza.  Watched a corny, but enjoyable movie called "Warm Bodies".  Sort of a zombie version of Romeo and Juliet.  Had some really funny moments, and a few "comments" about human interaction.  I liked it.

    Saturday,  Kaylee forced my day to begin at 6:30, to take her over to the school.  She and the choir were headed to Beebe for a regional choir workshop.  I like spending some quiet drive time with Kaylee.  OK, maybe not "quiet", but we did have fun discussing the artistry of the sunrise.  It was beautiful!  Soft pastels, interesting shapes, just really nice.

     I got back home about 7:15, but it was darker than when we left, because those clouds had rolled in and piled up.  By the time I had crawled back into bed (yeees, I know, what a slug!) the lightning, thunder and rain had started in earnest.  It pounded hard for a little over an hour.  About 8 am, the power blinked out hard enough to "chirp" our smoke detectors, so I woke back up.  Lazy bum, I stayed in bed until nearly 8:30!!  Still darker than at 6:30.

     Gave Michelle "the day off" from chicken houses, since I had boys to help me.  We are into week .....7?  I think.  Things are looking pretty good, but I had one ventilation system that needed a cable repaired.  We looked at the break, and compared it to several spots of rust along the cable, and decided it would be better in the long run to replace the 200+ feet of cable.  Not too bad a job for me and my two engineers.  We knocked it out in about 1 hour.  

     Weather still just drizzly enough, we kind of made it a movie, facebook and football kind of a day.  Did get sunny as the day progressed, so I sprayed the garden to reduce the bug damage.

     I don't consider myself a "diehard" Razorback fan, so I was kind of surprised at my own reactions as I watched the Arkansas v South Carolina game.  There were a few times I actually groaned loud enough to be heard in the other room.  Arkansas got "spanked" badly enough by the end of 3, that I went out and watched video games and movies with the kids.

     We were having some troubles with our wifi, so I didn't spend much time online, other than 98 minutes to post a short piece in my blog "ein wening Deutsch" uuggh! I also posted a short bit to this blog about the "Burlington Wall".  It was too funny to let slip away.

     Today, like every Sunday, started earlier than other days, so that we could make it to church meetings and such.  Michelle stayed home with farm houses, since I have responsibilities at church, again.  Really enjoyed hearing the members bear witness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Loved the singing.  I feel the Spirit so strong during hymns, it always hits my heart.  Also trips the "overflow button", which makes my eyes "leak"?? :)  OK, fine, when I am feeling the spirit, I tend to cry.  It actually bugs me, in a good way.  It makes it hard to sing, but I REALLY enjoy singing, and I used to be pretty good at it.  But there is no denying how the Spirit touches me during hymns.

     ANNNND, then the afternoon.  I love Sunday afternoons (if not always "monday-eve").  Relaxing with the family, reading, visiting the Church website, when our wifi works right, and the nap of the week!  Luv weekends!!

This one is going to be short.
     Last week, on October 3rd, I talked to my beginning students about Germany's National holiday, "Day of German Unity".  To create context, we make sure to spend some time talking about the reason for the rift, the Cold War, and the specific problems in Berlin.
     In our classroom journals, I always start by asking students to write a few lines about what they know of the Cold War and the Berlin Wall. If they don't know anything about it, I tell them, as a "marker", to write that they know nothing about it. Then, they are to take notes on the discussion, and indicate what new things they learned.
     Well, one student, who turned their journal in late, wrote a line that I could not pass up.  She indicated "I don't know anything about the Cold War, or the Burlington Wall".
     Maybe the downturn in Arkansas temperatures, and the number of kids complaining of the cold (74 degrees) had her thinking about coats?
     At the end of the class, her notes had Berlin, the key dates, and several other lines about Cold War tensions.   I love my job!

I just feel like I should post something today, but I have to be honest...I am just not feeling it.
     I prefer to send out well thought out items, preferably one concept, but I think there are just too many things, and my brain is jumbling them together in such a way that this may just come across as a rant.  It really is not supposed to be.
     Little stresses, big stresses, minor inconveniences and looming disasters all making my brain want to just go to sleep at 7 pm, and see if tomorrow shows up looking better.
     School:  I love teaching students.  Sometimes I have those moments like I posted about the other day, but many days, it is just "getting ready" for the next test or quiz, trying to keep up with late work, stressing about re-writing lesson plans for the entire year before end of first 9 weeks (next Wed.) for 4 levels.  Add in there issues of finances, such as health insurance, whether or not to keep paying the 50 USD per month to stay in the AEA or put that back on the dinner table,( in spite of "soap box" emails from reps), and higher with-holdings on each paycheck which actually have my monthly take-home LESS than last year.
     Farm:  Winter is coming, and that always involves a round of repairs and "tightening up" which adds a lot to weekends I would rather enjoy outside.  OK, translate: camping with the Scouts.  Gotta miss Camporee to take care of Farm.  My choice, I know, but it doesn't make me happy about it.  I was hoping things would time out with this flock to make it to Fall Camporee with Ben and the Troop.  No such luck.
     Govt. "shutdown" :  I wish there was a way to make people.....help People?...... get a bit away from all the emotions and start:
      1.  Looking at the real problem.....
      2. realizing that compromise, by definition, means that ALL sides need to to be willing to flex a bit.  It is obvious that each side has something they don't want to budge on, but those two issues DO NOT DETERMINE THE FUNCTIONALITY OF THE ENTIRE US GOVERNMENT!!!
      3. demanding that media and politicians state their sources for all this highly divisive rhetoric.  I mean, opinion is one thing, but in College English and High School English, making "factual" statements like these we are hearing, without sources would be graded with a very large, red "F".
      4.  Shutting up about blame, and start talking more about talking it through
      5............realizing when collars (their own) are getting hot, and back off for a few minutes...

     OK, .......moving on for a bit.

     Hoping my little car makes it to next week's paycheck with tires.  They are all 4 getting bald, and I can probably replace 2 on this paycheck and the others in Nov.......?
     My garden is looking sad today, and I had no time(during daylight hours) to do anything to help it.  Not likely to get help tomorrow either, as I get grades ready for Term upload.  Hopefully Saturday weather will be OK to work outside.
     Oh, and I worry about Michelle.  She may smack me for mentioning this, but when I leave for school after using the "maneuver formerly known as 'Heimlich'", because she choked on half a cheerio, it adds a significant stress to my day when she doesn't come to the phone.  I remind myself that she may be out checking the farm, but........  A year or so ago, she choked on some broccoli, and the EMT's came in just as she was regaining consciousness.  When she passed out, while dialing 911, she dislodged the blockage.  Not sure how long she was unconscious.  Healthy food?  Really??
     Anyway.........
I will make it.  Please know I try super hard not to be a whiner.  I know many people have problems much worse than these, and my prayers go out to you.  In so many other ways I am blessed beyond measure.  Sometimes, it just feels good to air out the stresses.  Can't pay a shrink, so will you guys be my couch?

The Safe Path

     Listening to the General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints this weekend, I felt like there was a "current" of admonition to persevere, to remember that the Lord's Plan of Happiness does not mean a life of ease, it means knowing that blessings await us when we "reach the 'end', if we have stayed strong in our faith."
     What a great weekend!!
     It also made me think about some of the many spiritual and social challenges our young people (and some of us old people) face everyday.  Particularly relevant were the talks by Elder Cook and Elder Anderson, talking about things that create spiritual bondage, and how the decisions we make from day to day, hour to hour can affect our eternal possibilities.
     My mind was drawn back to an experience I had while serving as a missionary in the Zurich,Switzerland mission.
     That beautiful Spring morning, the Elders of our district had decided (with permission from our Mission President), to go into the mountains of the Swiss Alps and enjoy the beauty of God's creation.  We intended to hike a short distance up to a small lake, nestled back against a breathtaking backdrop of granite cliff and deep forest.  The name of the small lake has long ago been forgotten by me, but the experience of that day has stayed with me.
     The weather was brisk, but pleasant, being in the spring.  Although there were patches of snow on the ground, particularly in shadow, the air was pleasantly warm, allowing light pants, t-shirts, and, for other hikers, shorts as clothing options.
     I do not recall the hike being long, but the trail was steep and well traveled.  Many, natives and tourists alike, seem to have shared our plans, as the trail was fairly busy that morning.  Many joined together in sharing the positive reports they had heard regarding this little lake and its surrounding beauty.
     The lake did not disappoint.  In spite of the warm air, the lake was still frozen solid enough that many chose to stroll out across its surface.  The surrounding cliffs and ravines created a thing of great beauty, but one feature caught my attention rather quickly.  Off to one side, from a ravine that ended at the cliffside about 90-100 feet above the downhill edge of the lake, a trickle of water turned to mist in the sunlight.  A native gentleman whom we had met during the climb, explained that this turned into a significantly larger waterfall as the spring thaw progressed, and that the small (very small) stream bed we had noticed on our climb was only what water "escaped" from the main flow due to wind.  The rest he said, disappeared into a deep hole in the mountainside, at the base of the cliff, only to emerge near the valley floor, many hundreds of feet below us.
     As a budding amateur photographer, I was intrigued by this image, and started up the snowy "hill" that surrounded the bottom of  the falls.  Actually, it was just a mound of snow, that had been "protected" from the thaw by a coating of ice.  The climb was maybe 40 feet.
     At the top of this perfectly shaped, snowy "bowl", I snapped a few pictures of the "pit". ( I will have to hunt down my mission slides, and add these pictures, but I wanted to type while the thoughts were fresh. This image is not actually mine, but gives you an idea).  Not satisfied with my angle, I made a decision that has both haunted me, and taught me, from that moment forward.

     I took 3 steps down into the bowl!  I was happier with the angle, feeling like it made the possible pictures more intense and dramatic.  I took my cautious steps back up to the rim, and began my descent down the outside.  I had not taken 3 steps when my foot slipped on the icy surface, and I slid the rest of the way down the ridge, until I came to a stop at the edge of the trail, approximately 30-40 feet below.
     Instantly, the knowledge of my foolishness hit me!  And the relief and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for watching out for one of His missionaries, even when he made a foolish choice.
   Since then, this experience has come to mind whenever I am tempted to try something that may be "just a step or two" away from the right path, or "one time is no big deal".  Shortly after returning home, a nonmember friend invited me to his wedding celebrations, including his bachelor party.  I was not worried about the temptation of alcohol, but I must be honest, I had not even considered the "traditional entertainment".   As my friend mentioned what his cousin had planned for "entertainment" my mind instantaneously flashed two thoughts:  The image of that small Swiss lake, and "one time is no big deal, right?"
     I was spared the need to be concerned further, however, because my good friend Ron, having known me since we were small, understood my beliefs, and in almost the same breath that started this moment of concern, offered to leave his own bachelor party to take me home.
     I realized then, and have felt many times since, that the memory of that small lake serves to remind me that the safe path is one I have been taught from my youth, and that the few small steps we take away from safety have the potential to plunge us into a pit so deep, that rescue seems impossible.
     In a world increasingly revealing spiritual "pits" such as drug addictions, pornography, violence and even apathy, I am so grateful to goodly parents, dedicated teachers and leaders, and most especially my Heavenly Father, who have taught me that there is a divine rescue plan already in place.  But I am also grateful that He reminds me, and has often done so throughout my life, that if I stay on safe ground, I will never know the depths of despair trapped in the pit , hoping desperately for rescue.

I've been meaning to post this one for awhile, but other things keep coming up.  It happened several weeks ago, in my classroom.
     We had a young lady visiting from Germany come visit my classes during the second week of school.  She babysat (in Germany) for a friend of one of the Spanish teachers, during her time working in Bonn.  The young lady's name is Ricci ("rickie").  After introductions, I asked her if she would be willing to introduce herself to my classes, and answer some questions.  I made sure she knew that it was totally her choice, I just wanted her to enjoy her visit.  She graciously agreed to the Q and A.
     It was a good day.  The students asked pretty good questions about family, school, learning English and studying German.  There were a few moments, however, when a teacher just has to fight the urge to do a "face palm".
     One class.....no, fairness to class...one young lady had asked Ricci if any of her friends spoke German............really?!?  Ricci hesitated, before politely explaining that her friends all lived in Germany, and German was their first language.  Another young man asked (not 10 minutes later) how many of her teachers spoke German............again, really??!??  Reply...."all of them?"
     The classes were being pretty good not "jumping" the students with the "face-palm" questions, but this class missed out on the best one.
     The next period, things were going well, same general direction of questions, and then the "big one" ........."Do teenagers in Germany use cellphones?
     I hesitated momentarily, biting my lip hard enough to bruise it, hoping to neither embarass the student NOR Ricci, who paused with a puzzled facial expression as if thinking this might be somehow a trick question.  I need not have worried.  After her split second pause, with the straight face of a seasoned public speaking veteran, she dead-panned her response....
     "No, we just shout at each other."
     I nearly fell over, laughing so hard!!  Even the student who had asked, realized the absurdity of the question, laughed along with the rest of the class, and much learning took place that day.  I do love my job!!!

Now, short addition:  These exchanges are good for all sides, which is why I push so hard to give my students chances and knowledge to travel.  Ricci also had a misconception clarified.  She admitted that she and her friends mostly thought that the American High Schools portrayed in movies and TV were all just as fake and make-believe as many other things in Hollywood.  The huge buildings with thousands of students, high tech labs and classrooms, marching bands, show choirs, big cafeterias and so on and so forth.  Then she walked into Conway High School.Conway Public Schools  and realized, the only element missing from this being "High School Musical"  was kids singing and dancing in the hallways.  (Big smile......MUCH learning was done that day!)

Scream!

Just a light-hearted short moment from my school email.
     Got a short email from the choir director today, that just struck my funny bone.  I will paraphrase it.

     Ladies and Gentlemen on my end of the building.  Thought you should know.. the choir is preparing a concert piece honoring the 50's "B" movier/horror movie genre.  It involves a long solo scream.  All 41 of my girls want the part, so I am holding scream auditions today during X period.  So if you hear bloodcurdling screaming from my room, please know that I am not doing anything bad to my students, and I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Maybe I'm just tired, but I had to laugh.